Another Day, Another Thought....
My dear friend Jaffri reminded me of my blog today when I read his. Reminded me of how sometimes we neglect the most simple but valuable things in life. Like the small chats you have with your loved ones, or the short visits u pay to a friend. We tend to procrastinate, saying that we’ll do things later. The question then is…later when? When someone passes away? When someone gets sick? Truth be told, I do that too inasmuch as I hate it. We tend to express our love only when something bad happens. Even so, if you had two things that happen at once; one a bad one and the other good, you tend to choose one over the other. True, sometimes it is better that way, as you won’t pressure yourself too much, but one should never neglect something for the other. At the end of the day, we’ll find out that these things are just as important. We learn a lot from those little tings that we do. I do anyways. Hmmm….do I make sense??
Anyways, for the past week, I’ve been busy with projects and friends. What else is new right? Well, for me, these last 3 weeks are the most important one, not only for my academics, but also for my friends I have come to love - Chai, Jessica, Ting, Meera, Olivia, Shawn, David, Alejandro, Chris, Ryan, Peter, Emily, Linea, Lyn, Sarah, Vicky, Benk Benk, and a whole bunch of friends here. They have been my friends, my support, my laughter, my frustrations, my teammates, my buddies, and I love them all dearly. Granted, for some I’ve only known them less than 3 months, but we’ve been through a lot here and it somehow seems like I’ve known them forever. I really hope these last few days will be my best times here. I hope that the memories we’ve built together would remain for as long as I live.
Gosh, I just don’t know what I’m gonna do. I’m so attached to a few people here that I feel like not leaving. But at the same time, going back home is such a blessing to me. It’s been too long since I had to go to Islamic lectures and get some spiritual reinforcements. I very well need it. I think my level of faith is deteriorating and that is a BIG problem. Is it my heart or my nafs? Sometimes I just feel like I’m lost. But I thank Allah for letting me know Chai. He’s been one of the reasons why I’m starting to think back about Islam. It amazes me how little knowledge I know when he asks me questions about Islam. Simple questions actually, like how you would know that the Qur’an, the Prophet (saw) and Allah really exists and is something non-fictional. Things I have deep faith in, but fail to clarify enough to make another person understand how I feel about it. I mean, sure there are all the examples to give, but I realized that all the answers I gave were the kind of answer only Muslims would easily accept. I guess my life in Malaysia, being surrounded by Muslims; I never knew how important it is to actually be able to explicate my thoughts and impart knowledge to others with little understanding the religion of the bigger picture of Islam. I’m just wondering what kind of a vicegerent I am now? Mak!! I need help!!
Having said all that, I think I feel much better. I find my blog to be a place of release, be it joy or frustration. :) Thank God….
My dear friend Jaffri reminded me of my blog today when I read his. Reminded me of how sometimes we neglect the most simple but valuable things in life. Like the small chats you have with your loved ones, or the short visits u pay to a friend. We tend to procrastinate, saying that we’ll do things later. The question then is…later when? When someone passes away? When someone gets sick? Truth be told, I do that too inasmuch as I hate it. We tend to express our love only when something bad happens. Even so, if you had two things that happen at once; one a bad one and the other good, you tend to choose one over the other. True, sometimes it is better that way, as you won’t pressure yourself too much, but one should never neglect something for the other. At the end of the day, we’ll find out that these things are just as important. We learn a lot from those little tings that we do. I do anyways. Hmmm….do I make sense??
Anyways, for the past week, I’ve been busy with projects and friends. What else is new right? Well, for me, these last 3 weeks are the most important one, not only for my academics, but also for my friends I have come to love - Chai, Jessica, Ting, Meera, Olivia, Shawn, David, Alejandro, Chris, Ryan, Peter, Emily, Linea, Lyn, Sarah, Vicky, Benk Benk, and a whole bunch of friends here. They have been my friends, my support, my laughter, my frustrations, my teammates, my buddies, and I love them all dearly. Granted, for some I’ve only known them less than 3 months, but we’ve been through a lot here and it somehow seems like I’ve known them forever. I really hope these last few days will be my best times here. I hope that the memories we’ve built together would remain for as long as I live.
Gosh, I just don’t know what I’m gonna do. I’m so attached to a few people here that I feel like not leaving. But at the same time, going back home is such a blessing to me. It’s been too long since I had to go to Islamic lectures and get some spiritual reinforcements. I very well need it. I think my level of faith is deteriorating and that is a BIG problem. Is it my heart or my nafs? Sometimes I just feel like I’m lost. But I thank Allah for letting me know Chai. He’s been one of the reasons why I’m starting to think back about Islam. It amazes me how little knowledge I know when he asks me questions about Islam. Simple questions actually, like how you would know that the Qur’an, the Prophet (saw) and Allah really exists and is something non-fictional. Things I have deep faith in, but fail to clarify enough to make another person understand how I feel about it. I mean, sure there are all the examples to give, but I realized that all the answers I gave were the kind of answer only Muslims would easily accept. I guess my life in Malaysia, being surrounded by Muslims; I never knew how important it is to actually be able to explicate my thoughts and impart knowledge to others with little understanding the religion of the bigger picture of Islam. I’m just wondering what kind of a vicegerent I am now? Mak!! I need help!!
Having said all that, I think I feel much better. I find my blog to be a place of release, be it joy or frustration. :) Thank God….
posted by Zee at
16:59
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