Back in Malaysia
Wow! It’s really been a long time since I’ve jotted anything in this little blog of mine. Pre-occupied is most likely an understatement of my life these past few weeks. Actually, many things have happened since. First, it was all the tests, assignments and projects, and then it was my finals and graduation, and finally packing to go home, sending off some friends to the airport, and visiting the rest who will still remain in Switzerland. It was definitely an emotional roller-coaster for me. Having to say goodbye to my friends was thus far one of the hardest things I had to do. But the worse was still to say goodbye to Jessica, Ting and especially Chai ~ all of which mean a great deal and hold a special place in my heart.
I guess that’s just how life is. You meet people, you get to know them, and at one point, u say goodbye. Nonetheless, memories of the times together and the strong feelings we shared will never be erased by time. Though maybe from a vivid memory, it’ll slowly be as blur as the misty water, but, I know in my heart, these memories created together are the happiest time for me. A part of my life that I’ll forever cherish, a part of my life, when I look back, only smiles and tears of joy will be the outcome of my reminiscing.
Back home, I’m missing Switzerland tremendously. I miss life with friends, I miss the freedom, I miss not being expected to do things, I miss people not judging me and accepting who I am, I miss smiling so much as I used to, I miss having to ride the bus to go to Luzern, I miss hanging out by the park or beach or just simply a nice walk with a friend by my side. One will only learn how to be grateful of things the moment they lose it. It’s very unnerving but unfortunately true. We neglect the things we love until something awful takes place. Humans….never contented with what they have.
As positive as I try to be, somehow, when I’m in Malaysia, I’m no longer the person I was in Switzerland. I find myself trapped in a little box. I’m too restricted in here, and to find my sparkle is almost impossible. I must sound pretty beat up huh? I feel like a bird without wings. For some reason, Malaysia makes me feel so negative. One person used to make me feel special, makes me feel like I deserve all the praises I received. Makes me believe I can achieve what I want to achieve. I still have my hopes and dreams close to my heart. It’s just the confidence that’s slowly deteriorating. Maybe this is just a phase in life I have to go through. Maybe…. For now, I think I’ll leave it all up to Allah. He promised that with every difficulty there’s relief and I truly and honestly believe in that. My life ahead will remain a mystery to be unravelled. I just hope that I’ll still have the strength to fight through it….
Wow! It’s really been a long time since I’ve jotted anything in this little blog of mine. Pre-occupied is most likely an understatement of my life these past few weeks. Actually, many things have happened since. First, it was all the tests, assignments and projects, and then it was my finals and graduation, and finally packing to go home, sending off some friends to the airport, and visiting the rest who will still remain in Switzerland. It was definitely an emotional roller-coaster for me. Having to say goodbye to my friends was thus far one of the hardest things I had to do. But the worse was still to say goodbye to Jessica, Ting and especially Chai ~ all of which mean a great deal and hold a special place in my heart.
I guess that’s just how life is. You meet people, you get to know them, and at one point, u say goodbye. Nonetheless, memories of the times together and the strong feelings we shared will never be erased by time. Though maybe from a vivid memory, it’ll slowly be as blur as the misty water, but, I know in my heart, these memories created together are the happiest time for me. A part of my life that I’ll forever cherish, a part of my life, when I look back, only smiles and tears of joy will be the outcome of my reminiscing.
Back home, I’m missing Switzerland tremendously. I miss life with friends, I miss the freedom, I miss not being expected to do things, I miss people not judging me and accepting who I am, I miss smiling so much as I used to, I miss having to ride the bus to go to Luzern, I miss hanging out by the park or beach or just simply a nice walk with a friend by my side. One will only learn how to be grateful of things the moment they lose it. It’s very unnerving but unfortunately true. We neglect the things we love until something awful takes place. Humans….never contented with what they have.
As positive as I try to be, somehow, when I’m in Malaysia, I’m no longer the person I was in Switzerland. I find myself trapped in a little box. I’m too restricted in here, and to find my sparkle is almost impossible. I must sound pretty beat up huh? I feel like a bird without wings. For some reason, Malaysia makes me feel so negative. One person used to make me feel special, makes me feel like I deserve all the praises I received. Makes me believe I can achieve what I want to achieve. I still have my hopes and dreams close to my heart. It’s just the confidence that’s slowly deteriorating. Maybe this is just a phase in life I have to go through. Maybe…. For now, I think I’ll leave it all up to Allah. He promised that with every difficulty there’s relief and I truly and honestly believe in that. My life ahead will remain a mystery to be unravelled. I just hope that I’ll still have the strength to fight through it….
posted by Zee at
23:08
1 Comments:
hey zee, sometimes adapting to things can be hard..let alone now reverting back to how things were now that you're back on home soil. Nevertheless, your roots are here and I believe in the concept of life as a spinning wheel. Sometimes we're up and sometimes we're down, the only thing that matters is getting by from the bottom all the way up; and what we do whenever the time we are destined to be on the upper circle of life. God bless and be strong, everythin will subside and it's gonna be okay. Talking from experience here!
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JeP, at 12:02 PM
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